Returning - Chapter 203
Chapter 203: Inner Demon
Zhuang Ye had known for a long time that Ling Jianwei liked Tang Xi.
After Ling Jianwei's seventeenth birthday, he went to the pottery shop to pick up some vases he had made earlier with Tang Xi.
The owner still remembered him and chatted warmly, mentioning that his friend had picked up his own fired pieces the day before.
Realizing the owner was talking about Ling Jianwei, he was surprised. "He made something too?"
The owner laughed heartily. "He sure did. That friend of yours is a real odd one. That dark, lumpy thing was clearly missing a chunk. I told him I could patch it up, make it look nicer, but he refused. Treasured that thing like gold."
Something clicked in his mind. Zhuang Ye asked, puzzled, "What dark, lumpy thing? Was it a gift box?"
"Oh, a gift box, was it? I saw it was all square and wondered what it was. Your friend has unique taste."
Treasuring a flawed thing given by Tang Xi, and secretly picking it up behind his back—Zhuang Ye wasn't stupid. Naturally, he figured it out immediately.
Yet he also worried he was overthinking, worried he was misunderstanding Ling Jianwei. So over the next few days, he deliberately observed carefully. Sure enough, he discovered that the way Ling Jianwei looked at Tang Xi was completely different. It even seemed Tang Xi was deliberately avoiding Ling Jianwei.
Did she also know Ling Jianwei had developed feelings beyond friendship for her? Zhuang Ye wanted to ask, but seeing how perfectly matched Ling Jianwei and Tang Xi looked standing together, he couldn't even muster the courage to open his mouth.
Before, he hadn't minded Ling Jianwei being with them, because he assumed Ling Jianwei wouldn't think about anything beyond studying. But in that moment, confirming Ling Jianwei's feelings for Tang Xi, he suddenly felt an unprecedented fear.
He knew very well that Ling Jianwei was superior to him in every way. Ling Jianwei, like Tang Xi, grew up in a healthy family. They were the same kind of person. They were the ones truly meant for each other.
But he, the one who didn't match, wasn't willing to accept it. Not willing to let Ling Jianwei steal the person he loved most.
He wanted to be angry. He wanted to rage. He wanted to question how Ling Jianwei could covet his good brother's girlfriend. Yet another voice inside him told him he had to be the most outstanding, most perfect Zhuang Ye. He couldn't be so petty-minded.
One moment he was desperate to chase Ling Jianwei away immediately, to make sure Ling Jianwei never saw Tang Xi again. The next, he kept persuading himself that Ling Jianwei had clearly done nothing, only silently harbored affection. He couldn't be so despicable. If Tang Xi found out, she would certainly scorn his narrow-mindedness.
Every day, he was cautious and guarded in front of Tang Xi and Ling Jianwei. On the surface, he remained exactly the same as before. But inside, he was never truly calm. While afraid, he also kept having absurd thoughts, feeling that Ling Jianwei and Tang Xi were the most suitable couple after all.
After tormenting himself like this for a few days, just as he could no longer bear it and was preparing to find an excuse to make Ling Jianwei leave, Tang Xi went home. That summer break, she never saw Ling Jianwei again.
In the time that followed, because of his subtle obstructions, his various excuses and reasons, Ling Jianwei and Tang Xi barely crossed paths again. It was then that he finally felt a slight sense of relief.
He felt despicable, but he was helpless. He always deliberately flaunted his affection with Tang Xi on the phone in front of Ling Jianwei. Even though he felt it was childish, it was addictive, like a drug.
Many times, he always wondered: why were he and Ling Jianwei always so far apart?
Ever since childhood, he had never been able to surpass Ling Jianwei. Finally meeting Tang Xi, he thought it was the one thing where he was luckier than Ling Jianwei. But Ling Jianwei's feelings for Tang Xi made him feel like he was facing a formidable enemy.
Gradually, the name Ling Jianwei seemed to become a demon in his heart.
That's why, when he witnessed such a scene in his own apartment, he fell apart and despaired the way he did.
He was furious at Ling Jianwei's betrayal of their friendship, yet even when questioning him, his heart was filled with countless mockeries and self-loathing.
He couldn't accept Tang Xi's betrayal of him, yet a faint voice inside him kept saying: her choosing Ling Jianwei was the right decision.
A perfect person like her was naturally only a match for Ling Jianwei.
As for him, someone not even liked by his own birth parents, a person long ago abandoned by the whole world, he was just being abandoned once more.
That was perfectly normal.
"Zhuang Ye."
A man's voice reached his ears. Zhuang Ye snapped back to the present. Looking at that familiar face before him, he stood stunned for a long while, still unable to distinguish whether this was reality or an illusion.
Ling Jianwei had come to see Ji Sui. He hadn't expected to run into Zhuang Ye just after leaving the hospital room. Seeing his poor complexion and dazed expression, he wanted to ask a question, but all words of concern stuck in his throat, unable to come out.
After a long pause, Zhuang Ye finally said, "I came to see my brother."
"Mm." Ling Jianwei nodded. "His injuries are much better. He can be discharged in another couple of days."
After that, another silent moment passed where neither knew what to say. Finally, Ling Jianwei was the first to step towards the elevator. But just as he took two steps, he heard Zhuang Ye's voice again: "If you can, take good care of her."
Ling Jianwei stopped. A bitter smile touched his lips. "I probably won't have that chance."
He knew better than anyone that whether it was Tang Xi or Zhao Yu, neither had ever held the slightest feeling for him.
Zhuang Ye looked up at the top of the building. Her ward was up there. But from the moment he heard her say with her own lips that she would live on, he had lost the right to appear before her again.
"From beginning to end, her heart has only ever held you." Ling Jianwei smiled self-deprecatingly. "I've always only been able to envy you."
Envy him? Zhuang Ye also suddenly smiled. The relationship between them was truly laughable.
Ji Sui probably hadn't slept well either. His body, not yet fully healed, looked weak, his complexion even more haggard.
Seeing Zhuang Ye enter, he said hoarsely, "Why so early," after which there was silence again.
Between the two of them, the dynamic was always endlessly awkward. Zhuang Ye didn't have much to discuss with him either. After a long silence, he finally said, "I've drawn a clear line with the Zhuang family too."
Ji Sui nodded. That was completely within his expectations. He didn't need to ask more.
Zhuang Ye came to the hospital room to dutifully fulfill his responsibility, to care for Ji Sui until he was discharged. So after a few random, inconsequential words, they both fell silent again. Until Zhuang Yiqing also came to the room.
She had been released on bail because of the investment company matter. Although the related case was still under investigation and it was only a matter of time before she was taken away again, she clearly still had a brief spell of freedom now.
Probably knowing long ago that Zhuang Ye was there, she wasn't surprised. With a calm face, she simply walked to the bedside and asked Ji Sui, "Are you better?"
Ji Sui nodded, not uttering a single word.
Zhuang Ye stood up and walked towards the door. Zhuang Yiqing quietly watched his retreating figure but didn't call out to stop him.
The sibling bond was gone. Even when facing her, the initial anger and grief he once felt had vanished entirely. It was as if she were just a stranger.
A long while after Zhuang Ye left, Ji Sui finally saw the tears welling up in Zhuang Yiqing's eyes.
He thought, all of Zhao Yu's revenge, all the harm done to her, was nothing compared to the depth of the wound from Zhuang Ye personally severing this sibling relationship. Even though the current Zhuang Yiqing was a far cry from the person he once knew, her care for Zhuang Ye had never been false.
However, she had used the wrong methods, walked the wrong path.
All of this could never, ever be undone.
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