Returning - Chapter 173
Chapter 173: Just a Dream
Ji Sui had never been someone who easily suspected others.
Over all these years growing up in the Zhuang family, the lesson he had learned was gratitude. Regardless of how great a debt his late father owed Old Master Zhuang, he, an orphan without parents, had indeed been raised by the Zhuang family. He harbored a heart full of gratitude for everyone in the Zhuang household, especially for Zhuang Yiqing, who had protected and cared for him since childhood.
Later, when he joined the military, he learned loyalty and trust. He lived side-by-side with his comrades, through life and death. No matter how dangerous the situation, they would unwaveringly trust their own.
He had grown accustomed to trusting, to treating everyone with sincerity. He disliked speculating about people's hearts, disliked assuming malice in others. Yet, when Zhuang Ye told him about the things Zhuang Yiqing had done to Tang Xi, his first reaction, for the first time, was no longer to trust Zhuang Yiqing.
Some things, even if he never voiced them, he could feel in his heart. He knew Zhuang Yiqing had changed, that she was no longer the person he once believed her to be. His trust in her had long since gradually crumbled.
Only, he hadn't expected that when this person, whom he already barely trusted, told him about Zhao Yu—he had actually believed that too.
It wasn't until that moment that he realized the problems between him and Zhao Yu had been accumulating, unnoticed, for a long time. He was simply the one who had been choosing to trust her unconditionally, willfully plastering over the cracks to maintain a veneer of happiness.
Her pitiable vulnerability was false. Her gentleness and innocence were false. Her shyness, passion, and sincerity before him—including the affection she displayed towards him—all of it… every single bit of it was a lie.
Every word she spoke to him, every action she took, every glance she cast his way—all had been meticulously designed and deliberately displayed for him.
In that case, was there a single genuine thing about her when she was with him?
The drive from Lanxi to the hospital she mentioned was just over half an hour.
In that short time, his thoughts, unexpectedly, were strikingly clear. Instantly, every scene from their first meeting to the present replayed in his mind like a film reel.
Ridiculously, he tried to find a shred of that genuineness, attempting to give himself a solace convincing enough. But even more pathetically, he discovered that even knowing the outcome—that she had deceived him—when recalling those most beautiful memories of his life, he still couldn't bear to believe they were all constructed from lies.
For the first time, he began to deceive himself, weaving countless excuses in his heart. He told himself over and over: it must be Zhuang Yiqing lying. She must be doing exactly what she did to deal with Tang Xi back then, using every means possible to deceive him, to strike at Zhao Yu, all to achieve her goal of driving Zhao Yu away and keeping him firmly within her control.
Finding such excuses repeatedly, eventually he even started to believe them again. He forgot his earlier suspicions, forgot the panic and unease that came after that near-certain certainty. He began again, impatiently, to harbor another kind of hope—hoping that what Zhao Yu mentioned on the phone about the hospital and Xu Chengyan was all false, hoping it was actually a surprise. He even fantasized that Zhao Yu would suddenly rush out, throw her arms around him, and tell him, "I'm willing to marry you," saying to him, "I truly like you, truly love you."
But all of it turned to ash with Ling Jianwei's single question, which struck like a bolt from the blue.
Zhuang Ye… Xi Xi…
These two names, which he never expected to appear here, shattered all his ridiculous fantasies and pulled his reason back once more. On one hand, he didn't want to think about it; on the other, his mind desperately pieced together the truth of the entire situation.
Xi Xi, Zhao Yu… Tang Xi, Zhao Yu? Zhuang Ye, Zhuang Yiqing, Xu Chengyan…
The child she was forced to abort four years ago, Xu Chengyan's public abandonment at the wedding, everything the Zhuang family was suddenly facing now, including that fruitless trip he and Zhuang Ye took to the United States…
"Brother Ji Sui." Seeing his body sway, Ling Jianwei instinctively stepped forward to support him.
Ji Sui fought desperately to hold up this body that seemed no longer under his control. He stared at Ling Jianwei for a long moment before speaking with difficulty: "Zhao Yu… and Tang Xi… what is their relationship?"
Even though an answer had faintly formed in his heart, he still couldn't even utter the question, "Is Zhao Yu Tang Xi?"
Ling Jianwei was somewhat puzzled by his intense reaction, but they had reached a point where nothing needed to be hidden anymore. So, he answered truthfully: "Zhao Yu, is Tang Xi."
The entire world seemed to fall silent in an instant. No sound reached his ears, and his eyes couldn't register any images. Only that strong arm from Ling Jianwei was gripping him tightly, forcefully holding up his staggering, tall frame.
He didn't know how much time had passed, but he suddenly flung off Ling Jianwei's hand, turned around, and stumbled unsteadily towards the hospital room.
Ling Jianwei's phone call that day might well have been a deliberate lie, so the words spoken now were equally untrustworthy. He wouldn't believe anyone's words anymore. He would only trust his own eyes and ears. Unless he saw her with his own eyes, unless he heard her say with his own ears that she had deceived him—otherwise, he wouldn't believe a single word.
But the moment he pushed the door open, she was indeed sitting on the hospital bed. Her face was pale, her expression calm. Even seeing him enter, she didn't show the slightest trace of surprise or astonishment.
In that instant, he suddenly wanted to flee.
To escape this place, escape all of it. As long as he didn't hear anything from her, could everything be treated as if it had never happened?
"Ji Sui." Looking at his trembling body, Zhao Yu slowly spoke. "I'm sorry."
Clearly, he was innocent, yet she had selfishly dragged him into hell, sinking together with her.
That single sentence ruthlessly pierced through his last barrier of self-deception and self-protection. Ji Sui's legs went weak. He slumped, bracing himself against the cabinet, and stared at her for a good while before speaking: "Should I call you… Tang Xi… or Zhao Yu?"
Zhao Yu gave a soft, low laugh: "Whatever you prefer."
Both were already dead, anyway. Tang Xi died four years ago, and the Zhao Yu he knew, the moment he learned the truth, had completely vanished from this world.
Ji Sui let out a similar laugh. His trembling lips moved slightly, but he didn't even know what else he wanted to ask.
What more was there to say?
From the very start, it was all nothing but a con. He had fallen in love with a person who never existed. Now, that person had already drifted far away from him, never to return. What meaning was there in delving into any of this?
He turned around blankly, dragging his heavy footsteps to walk back, step by step. Ignoring the four men who had long since followed inside, he only wanted to escape this unceasing hell that was suffocating him.
Yet his phone rang at that moment. He didn't want to deal with it, didn't want to care. But a voice in his heart kept telling him it must be Zhuang Ye—Zhuang Ye, who was nearly broken, who had just been taken to see a psychologist.
Zhuang Ye had broken down because of Tang Xi, suffered four years of torment because of Tang Xi. And he, as his older brother, right under Zhuang Ye's nose, had been dating, sleeping with, and planning a future with the woman Zhuang Ye couldn't forget. He had even told Zhuang Ye that he should call that person sister-in-law. And Zhuang Ye had personally offered advice on their relationship problems, looking forward daily to meeting this sister-in-law he spoke of.
"Zhao Yu." Ji Sui abruptly turned his head, staring at her mournfully. "How could you… be so cruel?"
So cruelly constructing a beautiful dream for him, making him fall completely into her lies and traps. In the end, she not only personally destroyed the beautiful love he believed he possessed but also forced him to become the executioner pushing Zhuang Ye into another abyss.
Zhao Yu smiled softly, saying nothing more. It was Xue Zi'ang who glared at Ji Sui angrily: "She's cruel? You Zhuangs are a hundred times crueler than her! The three family members she lost, the womb she lost—how are you going to repay that?"
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