Returning - Chapter 131
Chapter 131: The Trump Card
After the Start of Summer, the southern weather grew increasingly hot. Outside, the sun blazed overhead, yet indoors it was warm and pleasant.
However, standing in the corridor of the inpatient building, Xue Zhan felt as though he had fallen into an ice pit, his entire body aching from the cold.
"So what you're saying is, I deliberately tricked you, stopped you from wearing a condom, made you finish inside, and tried every possible way to get pregnant with your child?"
"Yeah, what qualifications do lowlifes like us have to bear the child of a noble, wealthy family?"
"Does Director Xue need to drag me to the hospital personally for a check-up? Just in case I'm already pregnant, just in case the child is really yours, so it can be dealt with promptly."
"You can get pregnant from pulling out, too. Does Director Xue want to go buy the morning-after pill again? What if I tricked you again? What if I didn't take the medicine and accidentally got pregnant with your child…"
Countless voices echoed in his ears, over and over, stabbing until his entire head was buzzing.
He could clearly see the nurse in front of him, her mouth opening and closing as she instructed him on something, yet he couldn't make out a single word. Whenever the wind blew in through the window, he shivered from the cold.
"Hey!" Noticing his abnormal state, the nurse waved her hand in front of his eyes. "Did you hear what I said clearly?"
Xue Zhan stared at her blankly, unable to produce a single sound.
"I said, your girlfriend's body is mostly fine. It's just the side effects from taking emergency contraception. She'll be better after resting and recuperating for a couple of days. But she absolutely cannot take this kind of medication again in the future; it does great harm to the body, and she had no need to take it in the first place."
"The main problem right now is her emotional state. You need to understand that losing her uterus is a devastating blow for any woman. Whether you knew about it before or not, you're her boyfriend, so you need to be there for her and help her through this. Don't let her spiral, understand?"
Xue Zhan didn't even know how much effort it took just to nod at the nurse. Yet, looking at the hospital room door so close by, he no longer had the strength to step inside.
He suddenly wondered, how many times had she taken emergency contraception in front of him?
The first time, in Wucheng, when she lost emotional control and impatiently wanted to have sex with him, refusing to let him get a condom. Afterwards, she told him to buy the medicine and swallowed it right in front of him. Looking back now, it was clearly to put his mind at ease.
The second time was after coming out of Xu Chengyan's office. He bought the medicine himself. Her expression then was so desolate, yet so full of irony, but he had thought she was just acting.
The third time, he had roughly pinched her mouth open and forcibly shoved the pill in.
His fists were now clenched so tightly they hurt. Looking at his shadow on the floor, for the first time, he felt how utterly cruel and despicable he was.
Had he only hurt her body?
Everything he had done to her was unforgivable.
The ward was a three-person room, but Zhao Yu was very lucky; the two beds next to her were empty. It was practically a private room, quiet and comfortable.
On the windowsill were several pots of green plants, growing lushly. Probably specially placed by the hospital to help patients feel a bit more cheerful.
Zhao Yu knew Xue Zhan had come in. Still, she remained motionless, leaning against the head of the bed, staring blankly at the green leaves swaying in the wind.
The door to the ward had been left open the whole time, so she could naturally hear what the nurse was telling Xue Zhan.
Was losing a uterus truly a huge blow to a woman?
Perhaps for most people, it indeed was. But for her, it wasn't really a big deal.
When she was little, she depended on her mother for survival. She witnessed firsthand how much her mother suffered, and most of those hardships were endured for her sake.
Without her, she believed her mother wouldn't have needed to push herself so desperately. Without her, her mother would have long since started a new family and lived a more comfortable life.
She knew very clearly that her mother had never considered her a burden. Her mother loved her dearly and was willing to give everything for her, including her life.
But in those years, ever since she was very young, she had thought that perhaps children weren't necessarily a must.
As she grew up, received an open-minded education, and formed her own life philosophy, she felt even more strongly that for both men and women, having children was not an essential life experience. If you wanted a child, have one; if not, then don't.
As for whether she herself wanted children, truthfully, she didn't know, because she hadn't yet had the chance to seriously consider that question.
When she was with Zhuang Ye, they were still in university and hadn't thought that far ahead.
Moreover, she had always known about the vast gap in family status between herself and Zhuang Ye.
While she fell deeply into love, unable to extricate herself, she was also vaguely uneasy, not daring to seriously contemplate the future.
Later, despite taking safety measures every time, that child still came unexpectedly.
But at that time, her sense of unease, her uncertainty about the future, was stronger than ever before.
She hadn't even considered discussing it with Zhuang Ye before she had already firmly decided to terminate the pregnancy.
In the end, that step was taken for her by Zhuang Yiqing.
She lost not only the child, but also her uterus, and two of her closest family members.
But compared to the pain of losing her loved ones, what did a uterus even matter?
Besides, from the moment she watched them leave her presence, she had already fallen into hell. How could someone trapped in hell possibly still want to nurture a new life?
She was not sad. Her agony had never been related to the loss of her uterus.
Yet, she knew that for most people, this was an extremely painful, hard-to-accept thing.
She believed Xue Zhan felt the same way. Especially after he had personally hurt her.
Therefore, she had to act extremely pained in front of him. She wanted him to feel regret, to feel torment.
Perhaps for many people, the pity and sympathy of others were weapons that pierced their self-esteem, things they least wanted to accept.
But Zhao Yu was different. Her appearance, her body, all her tragic experiences—they were all chips she could use. She didn't care whether others pitied her or not. As long as it was an emotion, she would accept it all without reservation.
And the uterus she had lost was her trump card.
The light before her was blocked as a dark shadow slowly descended. She knew Xue Zhan had approached her side, but she still didn't move a muscle, nor did she lift her eyes to glance at him.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his arm lower, inching closer and closer to her shoulder, but just as it was about to touch her, it abruptly retracted.
He no longer dared to touch her.
After a long, silent pause, she finally heard his hoarse, trembling voice: "Zhao Yu, I'm sorry."
She still showed no reaction.
Then, tentatively, bit by bit, he gently held her hand. "I'm sorry."
A long while later, Zhao Yu finally turned her head, looking at him blankly.
With his deathly pale face and reddened eyes, this was a Xue Zhan she had never seen before.
Two streams of clear tears slid from the corners of her eyes. He reached out, gently wiping them away, then cautiously pulled her into his arms.
Zhao Yu felt it distinctly—his entire body was trembling.
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