MORIC - Chapter 76
Chapter 76: What If
Xi Zhoumeng didn't understand why Chi Yueshan was suddenly crying.
She walked back and naturally took Chi Yueshan's hand. "Cursing me again?"
"Let's go see what you wanted to see first."
She was tall, but her frame didn't seem particularly broad. Her hand was still larger than Chi Yueshan's, and as she held it, Chi Yueshan was still struggling to pull away.
"Don't change the subject. I'm being serious with you."
Xi Zhoumeng pulled her along slowly. The castle gates opened gradually, and the lights inside suddenly flickered on.
"Go on."
Xi Zhoumeng didn't know what she had activated, but upstairs, shelf after shelf of panels opened automatically, revealing they were all filled with thick books.
The layout of the first floor was like some kind of exhibition. Inside transparent cases were all the things Chi Yueshan had dreamed of.
The difference between Ling Xun's mecha and the mechas here was vast, even to the naked eye.
Chi Yueshan didn't step forward. She stood rooted to the spot and asked Xi Zhoumeng, "Why did you kiss me just now?"
Xi Zhoumeng hadn't expected her to ask that. She was inspecting the electronic card on each mecha.
This generation of the Xi family was indeed seen as useless by others, but that didn't change the fact that their ancestors included many Alpha military officers.
Xi Li's mecha, which hadn't been activated in years, sat in a corner, but its paint job looked just as flashy as its owner's personality.
"If I offended you, I apologize."
Of course, Chi Yueshan knew about Xi Zhoumeng's reputation at school.
As the dream Omega of every Alpha, Xi Zhoumeng's bearing and speech were impeccable, but that was only how others saw her.
At least in Chi Yueshan's heart, she thought she wasn't just "others."
So polite at a time like this.
But so impolite when kissing me.
What an act.
Chi Yueshan: "I wasn't offended."
She still refused to take a step forward. The woman in the long dress ran her hand over the password panel of a mecha's protective case, unlocking a silver one.
Xi Zhoumeng: "Didn't you want to see the mechas?"
She spoke nonchalantly, realizing that no matter how she called out to the system, there was no response.
That little thing that only served to amuse her seemed to have vanished without a sound.
Chi Yueshan: "Not in the mood."
Xi Zhoumeng turned around. "Are you angry because I kissed you?"
"Then next..."
"What do you take me for!"
Chi Yueshan roared, so angry her voice almost broke. Unfortunately, her anger was undermined by an instinctive sniffle, turning it into a sense of grievance.
This was also the first time she had ever liked someone this much.
She wanted a response.
But the Xi Zhoumeng who was usually so good at tempting her was acting like a block of wood.
No one would believe it if she told them.
Chi Yueshan found it hard to hold back her tears.
The number of times she had cried in her entire life could be counted on one hand, but in front of Xi Zhoumeng, it was as if all her defenses were stripped away.
It was hard to describe this kind of intimacy.
She even felt this wasn't their intimate act.
Of course, that was a small part of it.
"Why are you crying?"
Xi Zhoumeng sighed, walked over, and reached out to wipe away Chi Yueshan's tears.
"If you don't want an Alpha, then what do you want?"
"A Beta isn't good enough for you."
Her tone still carried her strong personal style, but her eyes held a possessiveness that confused Chi Yueshan.
That can't be right. Even if I'm slow, I couldn't have misread it, could I?
She must like me a little.
There has to be at least a little!
Was I just being played by her like this?
She grew even angrier, so much so that her eyes reddened and her lips trembled.
As red as tempting cherries.
"Are you a pig?"
Chi Yueshan finally couldn't take it anymore. She cursed out loud, then stepped on Xi Zhoumeng's pristine white shoes, wrapped her arms around her neck, and kissed her.
She was like a young beast that had just learned to run, encountering a hunter who was an expert at the hunt but never kept its prey.
"I said I want you!"
The hunter was lonely and cunning, possessing a natural vulnerability that made others want to devote themselves to her.
At that moment, Xi Zhoumeng's pupils contracted, and her body seemed to stiffen. The warm sensation on her lips felt as if it would bore into her soul.
Sucking out all the panic and helplessness from the depths of her soul.
And disbelief.
Chi Yueshan had no experience at all. Although she had been a wanderer since childhood and had accumulated a wealth of social experience with Zhou Fengqin...
...even being an adult streamer hadn't made her adept at kissing.
After all, she had no one to practice with, nor did she share Xuan Ping's hobby of watching idol dramas and studying romance novels.
Her life was nothing more than a muddy path. She hurried forward, not knowing where the future lay.
Nor did she know if anyone would ever bloom a flower for her to see by the roadside.
More than recklessly throwing herself into loving someone, Chi Yueshan wanted the person she liked to like her back.
Just a little would be enough.
Like the fuse on a flammable object, a single spark could burn until the end of time.
But Xi Zhoumeng was not fire.
She was still water without a ripple, a stalactite that had been silent in a cave for millennia.
Icy to the touch and impossible to hold tight.
Even dangerous.
"Want me?"
It took a great deal of effort for Xi Zhoumeng to repeat those two words.
She didn't even have the energy to be furious about her shoes being stepped on. Chi Yueshan, having been given an inch, took a mile and clung to her. "Is there a problem?!"
Her voice was loud and carried a hint of spoiled petulance. "You're the one who did this and that to me without any rhyme or reason, then was inexplicably nice to me, kissed me, and pretended to care about me..."
She listed the offenses one by one, trying to prove that Xi Zhoumeng had designs on her from the start.
"I think you've had your eye on me for a long time, and you know Senior Wen has no feelings for you."
I don't care, I'll just throw in some nonsense.
On the surface, Chi Yueshan was arrogant, but inwardly she was anxious. She was about to let go, afraid she might crush this "Bodhisattva."
"You're saying I provoked you?"
Xi Zhoumeng didn't let her escape. She lifted Chi Yueshan by the bottom. "You like me?"
Chi Yueshan retorted loudly, "Of course not!"
I do like her a little, she thought.
At the same time, she was a little scared, afraid that others would think she liked Xi Zhoumeng for her family status and background.
Am I worthy of her?
If only it were really the era of "Yellow Rose," where we didn't have secondary genders. I would just be me, and she would just be her.
Would I feel a little more at ease then?
Xi Zhoumeng let out an "Oh." "So you do like me."
She answered for herself.
The interior of this castle was centrally controlled and quite tall; a glance up revealed the mural on the dome.
It was unclear which century the work was from. The god depicted on it looked so pained, and to one side was a falling golden arrow.
When Xi Zhoumeng inherited this character's memories, there was a scene where a young Xi Li told her it was the God of Love.
At the time, Xi Chun and Xi Yang were also there, looking at their big brother with contempt, thinking Xi Li was too preoccupied with love and romance, that he was no good.
Unfortunately, this kind of "vulgarity" was something Xi Zhoumeng desperately wanted.
But she knew she couldn't have it.
Countless attempts had resulted in either rejection or her own body's rejection.
It was as if fate had already decreed her ending: she had to taste a lifetime of loneliness to atone for past sins.
But for someone who was sin itself, how could there be any talk of atonement?
Chi Yueshan: "I didn't say that."
I just don't want an Alpha.
She could feel that the hands holding her were trembling, or rather, it felt like Xi Zhoumeng's entire body was trembling.
Is she that excited?
I never got the impression that Xi Zhoumeng was the slow-to-warm-up type before.
At the academy, she was domineering and arrogant, looking as if she ruled the world of romance and could play with countless Alphas.
So why is her reaction so innocent right now?
"Then why do you want me?"
Xi Zhoumeng carried her as she walked to one side. This building stored mechas, some specialized components, and books. It was one of the Xi family's warehouses, but not their dedicated library.
On the shelves were many ancestors' journals. As dynasties changed, even the written language had been revised. Chi Yueshan glanced over and realized she couldn't even read the characters.
"What's wrong! Is it so outrageous that I want you? You're the one who kissed me."
Chi Yueshan was being stubborn, but that forceful kiss earlier had been quite fierce; her lips were swollen from the impact.
They were still a little numb.
Xi Zhoumeng placed her down on a nearby sofa but didn't let go. She reached out, brushed Chi Yueshan's hair aside, and gazed into her eyes. "I kiss when I want to. Do I need a reason?"
Chi Yueshan got angry. "Then how many people have you kissed? Senior Wen said she never even dated you!"
Chi Yueshan had asked this after rehearsal, never imagining she would run into such an awkward situation later.
Xi Zhoumeng nodded. "Couldn't bring myself to do it."
Chi Yueshan instinctively wanted to retort, but Xi Zhoumeng said, "You still have her in your heart."
Chi Yueshan: ...
Why! I'm the one doing the questioning! How did it turn into me being judged!
"I'm not explaining it again. I've said it many times. Don't change the subject."
Xi Zhoumeng: "Why do you like me?"
She sat on the edge, but one hand was pressing on Chi Yueshan's thigh, and Chi Yueshan couldn't get up for a long while.
"Because I'm good-looking? Rich? My family owns a mine?"
As she spoke, she touched her own face. "Although this face is still a bit lacking."
Compared to before.
Chi Yueshan was struck speechless for a moment by her narcissism.
Xi Zhoumeng sighed faintly. "I knew it."
She looked as if she had broken up with many people for this very reason.
But Chi Yueshan only knew that this person had only been rumored to be with Wen Xinghuo for all these years.
There was no one else at all.
"Yes! You're good-looking! You're rich! And you're a noble! You're so amazing."
Chi Yueshan turned her face away, staring at the silver mecha, at the three characters for "Xi Zhoumeng" lit up on the electronic plate, and her voice grew quiet again.
"You can think I'm crazy, you can think I'm overreaching, I just want..."
"To sleep with me?"
Xi Zhoumeng finished her sentence for her, and was promptly slapped on the arm by Chi Yueshan.
"No!"
But Chi Yueshan didn't know what to say.
It was too embarrassing.
The way Xi Zhoumeng was good to her was different. It wasn't charity, it wasn't contempt, and it certainly wasn't a way to dismiss her.
Verbally, Ling Xun was much nicer to her than Xi Zhoumeng was.
But Chi Yueshan was only curious about Xi Zhoumeng. She wanted to know why.
Why did she cry that night?
Why did her gaze sometimes feel so scorching when she looked at her?
How can someone brand my soul with just a look?
And maybe it was that hug just now.
It was so tight, so tight that she felt as if her soul was embracing Xi Zhoumeng's, and she could hear her cry of sorrow.
She wasn't happy.
Why?
I so want to know everything about you.
This curiosity has overshadowed all my thoughts, keeping me awake at night. When I open my eyes, it's you. When I close them, I still think of you.
"I'm very happy."
Xi Zhoumeng pulled Chi Yueshan up. At this moment, her expression was very relaxed. "To be honest, I want to have you too."
Chi Yueshan: "Huh? Why?"
The next second, she was ecstatic. "You really do like me!"
Chi Yueshan scratched her head, wanting to say more, but Xi Zhoumeng pulled her into her own mecha.
As expected of something belonging to Xi Zhoumeng, it was perfectly normal for it to be magnificent.
Inside the cockpit, even the instrument panel looked extravagant.
Xi Zhoumeng hadn't controlled these things in a long time. She familiarized herself with it for a moment, then explained to Chi Yueshan, "I can't pilot it either, so just take a look around."
The startup sound was surprisingly cutesy. Chi Yueshan was pushed into the seat by Xi Zhoumeng.
"This model isn't very popular now. The seat can fit two people."
"My mother had someone make it the year I was born."
The mechas displayed here all looked impressive, but the ones that had actually seen combat were deeper inside.
"Startup requires a spiritual power scan from the cockpit. It can't be controlled without Alpha pheromone activation, and it's not bound to a genetic sequence."
Chi Yueshan watched Xi Zhoumeng's finger press the scan button, stared at her profile for a few seconds, and asked, "Did your mother expect you to be an Alpha?"
It wasn't as if no one had ever imagined Xi Zhoumeng as an Alpha.
Even Xuan Ping, after a brief fantasy, found the idea a bit terrifying, thinking that someone like Xi Zhoumeng would have a hard time being diligent.
"Fingerprint authentication complete."
"Cockpit scan complete. Spiritual power assessment complete: S+."
"Activating pheromones..."
"Activation failed."
Xi Zhoumeng stared at the words "Activation failed" and shook her head. "I don't know."
Had the original Xi Zhoumeng, in her despair over her own flaws, ever imagined it?
What if I were an Alpha?
Or what if I were a pure Omega?
At least she wouldn't be so insecure, so full of gains and losses, so jealous of and yet so in love with Wen Xinghuo.
But the current Xi Zhoumeng never dealt in hypotheticals.
Accepting adversity was a commendable trait she had developed growing up in her original world.
Sometimes it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. When good and bad came all at once, she could still face it.
This one in her arms said she wanted her.
Then what kind of me does Chi Yueshan want?
Xi Zhoumeng, who had originally thought she would have to be the plunderer, was exceptionally bewildered.
She watched Chi Yueshan stroke a component and asked, "If I were an Alpha, would you still like me?"
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