Honored Guest - Chapter 19
Even More Painful
“Lan Yan’s father preferred sons over daughters.” Jiang Jin Yue sat on the sofa, half her body sinking into the cushions. Her voice was clear, like the rain outside, crisp and clean. Yu He and Luo Sheng Sheng looked at her. She continued, “When her mother was pregnant, he’d asked someone to find out the gender. There were some complications during the checkup, but the person told him it was a boy. He was overjoyed.”
One could only imagine how happy he’d been then, and how disappointed he’d been later.
“Not long after Lan Yan was born, she was sent back to her hometown.” Jiang Jin Yue looked down. “Her mother was always away, and with the cultural differences, she didn’t place much importance on family. By the time she realized her husband had sent Lan Yan away because he wanted a son, Lan Yan was already a few years old. She refused to go abroad with her mother, insisting on staying with her grandmother. Her mother respected her wishes and left her in China.”
“Lan Yan didn't have many attachments,” Jiang Jin Yue said. “It used to be her grandmother.”
After her grandmother passed away…
It was only her.
She remembered watching a TV show once, a breakup scene that had brought tears to her eyes. She’d asked Lan Yan, “Will you ever break up with me?”
“No,” Lan Yan had replied without hesitation.
Jiang Jin Yue had chuckled. “Never even considered it?”
After all, they’d had their ups and downs, had argued several times, but Lan Yan had never mentioned breaking up. She’d stared at Lan Yan, who’d said, “Not even once.”
She'd asked Lan Yan, “Not even in the future?”
Lan Yan had said, “Never.”
She’d been struck by Lan Yan’s firm expression. Young and impetuous, she’d known promises like that meant nothing, yet she’d believed Lan Yan.
She’d known Lan Yan had meant it.
Later, when their relationship had been discovered by Jiang Jin Yue’s mother, and her mother had humiliated them several times, Lan Yan had never uttered a word, not even when they were being harshly punished. She’d never mentioned breaking up.
In some ways, her stubbornness was heartbreaking.
Jiang Jin Yue said, “Her relationship with her mother has improved somewhat in the past two years.”
Although it wasn't like a typical mother-daughter relationship, at least they’d started to connect. Yu He frowned. “So, what does that have to do with…”
Luo Sheng Sheng kicked him. “Maybe she’s different now than before.”
Jiang Jin Yue looked at Luo Sheng Sheng. “She’s even more stubborn now than before.”
She’d considered telling Lan Yan the truth. It wasn't that she wanted to be some kind of martyr, but after this reunion, she knew Lan Yan was even more stubborn now.
So stubborn that Jiang Jin Yue had had to say those hurtful things, again and again.
Lan Yan would find out eventually, but not now, not now, when she'd returned full of hope, ready to embrace a new life with Jiang Jin Yue. Lan Yan wouldn't be able to handle it, not now. She couldn’t.
She knew the consequences of telling Lan Yan too well.
Yu He, watching them talk, was about to speak, when Luo Sheng Sheng said, “You…”
There was a knock on the door.
All three of them turned to look. Jiang Jin Yue said, “You two should go.”
Yu He hesitated, looking at Luo Sheng Sheng, then lowered his head. “Okay.”
He walked to the door and opened it. As expected, Lan Yan stood outside, drenched from the heavy rain, water dripping from her hair, looking utterly disheveled. Seeing her like this, Yu He recalled Jiang Jin Yue’s words.
He suddenly felt that he really had made a mistake.
Lan Yan didn't look at him, her gaze fixed on Jiang Jin Yue beyond him, her face expressionless, her eyes dark and deep. Luo Sheng Sheng broke the silence, “We’ll be going then.”
He wanted to say goodbye to Lan Yan, but it didn’t seem appropriate, so he just pulled Yu He away.
Lan Yan remained at the doorway.
Jiang Jin Yue said, “Come in.”
Lan Yan said, “You seem busy.”
Jiang Jin Yue didn’t reply.
Lan Yan said, “How are you planning to lie to me this time?”
Jiang Jin Yue looked down, studying her for a few seconds, then went to the bathroom and retrieved a towel, handing it to Lan Yan. It was light pink. Whenever they’d gone shopping for towels, Jiang Jin Yue would always choose this one. She’d bought a blue one for Lan Yan. “Matching couple towels! Perfect!” she’d exclaimed.
Seeing the towel, Lan Yan’s eyes instantly reddened, tears welling up. Her body stiff, her knuckles white, she snatched the towel, but she didn’t wipe herself. Water dripped from her chin onto her clothes. Jiang Jin Yue looked up, seeing Lan Yan hadn’t moved, and took the towel, draping it over Lan Yan’s head, rubbing it vigorously. The soft cotton absorbed the water, but Lan Yan’s body remained rigid.
Jiang Jin Yue asked, “How did you get here?”
Lan Yan: “Taxi.”
Jiang Jin Yue said, “Why didn’t you bring an umbrella?”
Lan Yan didn’t reply.
Jiang Jin Yue continued, “Didn’t you always carry an umbrella when it rained?”
Lan Yan looked at her. The towel slipped from her hair, and Jiang Jin Yue wiped her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks. Lan Yan reached out and grabbed Jiang Jin Yue’s wrist, her grip tight, the skin underneath turning red. Jiang Jin Yue let her vent, her voice calm. “You’re hurting me.”
At that, Lan Yan loosened her grip, but she still held on.
“Jiang Jin Yue,” Lan Yan’s voice was lower than usual, strained with anger. “Is this some kind of game to you?”
Jiang Jin Yue looked at her, trying to pull her hand back, but Lan Yan held on tight. She tried twice, then frowned. “Let go of me.”
“What if I don’t?” Lan Yan challenged. “What are you going to say?”
“I…”
“Jiang Jin Yue.”
Her voice was cold, laced with anger and trembling slightly. Tears streamed down her face. One hand gripped Jiang Jin Yue’s wrist, the other clutched the towel. She said, “Were you planning to tell me after you died?”
Jiang Jin Yue’s heart lurched. “Lan Yan!”
“Don’t call me that!” Lan Yan's whole body ached. Earlier, she'd called her mother and asked about the money. Her mother had admitted to giving Jiang Jin Yue a sum of money. She hadn't expected her mother to lie to her, even then.
She'd called her mother again just now, forcing the truth out of her through gritted teeth.
After learning the truth, she’d felt empty, waves of panic and anger washing over her. She’d been deceived, kept in the dark. Everyone had known, except her. All this time, she'd been playing along with this ridiculous charade of an impending marriage, hurt by Jiang Jin Yue’s words. Realizing Jiang Jin Yue’s true situation, countless thoughts and emotions clashed and collided within her, tearing her apart. She didn't know how she'd gotten here. All she could hear was her mother’s voice echoing in her ears: “Cervical cancer. There’s nothing they can do.”
When she’d first heard the news, she’d even thought, it’s better if she gets married.
Better to watch her get married.
Than…
Lan Yan felt a sense of absurdity, the world spinning around her. She’d stumbled downstairs, her mind filled with questions she wanted to ask Jiang Jin Yue. But now, facing her, she couldn't utter a single word.
The pain emanating from deep within her bones was a dull ache, escalating until it became unbearable. Her chest tightened, her breath catching in her throat. She was suffocating from the pain, her vision blurring, her body swaying. Her face was even paler than Jiang Jin Yue’s. Jiang Jin Yue called out, “Lan Yan.”
Lan Yan turned to look at her, her ears ringing. After a few seconds, she finally heard Jiang Jin Yue’s voice. “Sit down,” she said.
Lan Yan didn’t move, her grip on Jiang Jin Yue’s wrist still firm, their eyes locked. Her lips trembled, as if she wanted to speak, but she just shook her head, her arm dropping, as if all her strength had been drained away. Only the hand gripping Jiang Jin Yue’s wrist remained firm, refusing to let go. The skin underneath was red, the marks of her fingers clearly visible on Jiang Jin Yue's fair skin.
Jiang Jin Yue let her hold on, her voice soft. “Lan Yan.”
This time, Lan Yan didn't lash out, didn't yell at her angrily. This silence was even more distressing to Jiang Jin Yue. She would rather Lan Yan vent, but she knew Lan Yan wouldn't.
Just as Lan Yan knew her, she knew Lan Yan.
Lan Yan hadn't questioned her lies precisely because she knew her too well. She’d spent over a year practicing how to lie convincingly, breaking the habit of being easily caught out by Lan Yan. So many people had commented, “Yue Yue, you’ve changed so much.”
She’d changed. She was no longer the same Jiang Jin Yue.
But Lan Yan was still Lan Yan.
Stubborn, unyielding. For this relationship, she’d given up almost everything, even her pride. The few times she’d come to find Jiang Jin Yue, Jiang Jin Yue had been in disbelief, too afraid to let her know the truth.
Jiang Jin Yue looked at her. Lan Yan looked down. Silence filled the living room, only the sound of rain against the windowpane. Two stubborn people stood side by side, Lan Yan’s face paler than Jiang Jin Yue’s, making it hard to tell who was the sick one.
A gust of wind blew the curtains open, sending a draft through the window. Jiang Jin Yue’s hair fluttered, a few strands falling over her eyes, obscuring her vision. She closed her eyes briefly, and Lan Yan let go of the towel, draping it over the armrest of the sofa. She reached out and brushed Jiang Jin Yue's hair away from her face.
Jiang Jin Yue looked up, meeting Lan Yan's somber gaze. Her throat tightened.
Lan Yan didn’t look at her, just walked towards the window after smoothing down her hair. The floor was wet, her clothes still soaked, leaving a trail of water behind her. She reached the window in a few strides and closed it, catching sight of Jiang Jin Yue’s reflection in the glass.
She placed her hands on the windowsill, her head lowered, unable to bring herself to turn around.
Jiang Jin Yue looked at her back, slender and frail, her shoulders trembling slightly. Her head was bowed, her hands gripping the windowsill, her knuckles white, the veins on the back of her hands tense and prominent.
Her heart ached so much, she could barely stand.
She took a step forward, her heart clenching. She slowed her breathing and, just as Lan Yan was about to turn around, hugged her from behind. Lan Yan’s body was cold and wet, rigid and tense.
Lan Yan looked down at the arms wrapped around her. She started to say, “Jiang Jin…”
Jiang Jin Yue interrupted her. “I’m sorry.”
The words silenced Lan Yan.
Jiang Jin Yue always did this.
She knew how to hurt her with just a few words.
How to cause even more pain.
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